Sending away an Indonesian Helper - My Indonesian helper Lulu 2
1， my expectations for Lulu
Ever since Lulu came to my home, I've been blessed with a helper, a sense of leisure and a desire for something better. The thought of leaving all the household chores behind makes me smile at night.
Suddenly, lulu, 19, has been working in our house for more than two months. I told her to get up at five every morning to make breakfast and put it in a lunch box with my lunch. At about five o 'clock in the afternoon, we cook dinner, one meat dish and one vegetable dish. In the daytime, she has to clean the house, wash clothes and go shopping in the supermarket. I told her that if she didn't have anything special to do, she could go out and play with her friends. I thought about her food and her spare time. I told her to take my allowance and go out to buy food and cook for herself. She could use everything in the kitchen including the food in the fridge. After dinner, go for a swim downstairs or take a walk to the mall. Feel free to go to the gym if you'd like.
The discerning eye here probably sensed my naivety. Why is Lulu going to the gym? Why does she have swimming clothes? Will she come back to work after a walk to the mall?
Lulu did go for a swim once, and politely asked me in advance if the pool was public. I said yes. She hasn't been there since. One weekend I asked Lulu why she didn't go swimming, and she said she didn't have anything to swim in. So I went to the locker and found a couple of swimsuits that I had used to pack a lot and gave them to her.
I'm sure people would say I'm not bad to her, right? I really don't want to watch her all the time and be nice to her. My idea is that since we are one family, I will first give her kindness and trust. The rest is left to her to learn.
2， Lulu's life
Lulu gets up earlier than me most of the time, and I get up at 5:30 every day. Once in a while she's still sleeping when I get up. I was unhappy because she cooked slowly, and I was afraid that my meal would not be ready before I went out. So I knocked on her door and told her to wake up.
Her cooking is always so-so and she can barely eat it. On Mondays, on Tuesdays, on Wednesdays, and on Thursdays, I can't bear to look at my lunch box. I know I need to teach her to know what I like to eat and what I should do. My colleagues at home, who had four or five helpers, told me, “Honey, you need to teach her how to do it. When teaching her, you should not only say, what to eat should be cut for her to see, then show her to make, salt and oil should also be measured for her to see. Show her when you clean. Leave out a series of verbs to show her the parallel sentence.”
Back home, I took the time to teach her to make Fried noodles, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, beef with potatoes, Lao Gan Ma Fried rice with beans and so on. I also took time to teach her how to clean the table, POTS and pans, wipe the coffee machine, fold clothes and so on, and told her to wash the light clothes by hand, and the dark ones by washing machine. I also have two laundry baskets, one for the dark ones on the left and one for the light ones on the right. It turned out to be too much for the students to digest.
3，,The beginning of Lulu's laundry story and her unreliability
Several times when I wear light clothes, there are obvious marks on them, which are washed with black clothes. I took the clothes to Lulu, and she said she had really washed them by hand. I said, ok, from now on you have to wash the clothes, you can brush with the brush or rub with your hands, I have no marks on these clothes before. She nodded repeatedly. Of course, nothing has changed since then.
(Photo: Lulu's washed trousers, which are covered with yellow stains)
Sometimes when I came home, I would pretend to touch the coffee machine in front of her to check whether the table was clean or not, and she would always look away nervously. To our disappointment, every time the coffee maker's hot water bottle seemed to be covered with oil and the table was covered with dust. Every now and then I recap my lessons in front of her, omitting the verbs and scenarios.
Then it dawned on everyone that Lulu was not going to be satisfying so quickly.
On Wednesday, I called the real estate agent to fix my window and toilet. I told Lulu not to go out on Wednesday. Lulu agreed. But I was at work and Lulu said her friend had come to see her and she needed to go downstairs. I said the agent hasn't come yet and you can wait until he fixes the window and toilet. And told Lulu and the agent to contact each other. She said yes. Around 10 o 'clock, the agent kept calling me, saying that no one had opened my house. I kept calling lulu and texting her, but I didn't return. The agent didn't answer the phone either. The agent said “your helper wasn't asleep”. In the end I had to let the agent go first. When I got home from work, I already knew lulu was going to tell me her phone was dead or something. I hired Lulu to make time for myself, but now I felt as if I had more work to do. When we got home, Lulu looked sad, and I didn't give her a good face. But I knew I couldn't say anything harsh. I had to do some ideological work for her just like a teacher and told her that the agency would come back tomorrow to finish the job.
So I made an appointment with the agent on Thursday and asked him to contact Lulu directly. I was at work on Thursday when the agent called again with a lot of messages saying no one had answered the door. I kept calling and texting, but Lulu never answered. I think at that time I was so frustrated, the colleague next to me from beginning to end all know what happened, she calmly typed without looking up, “Dear helper, please mind yourself”. Another colleague also listened in, oh dear, my mouth was worn out, but my helper never answered. After listening to the two senior people give directions, I silently sat back on the chair. The incomprehensible intermediary did not forget to make a knife and sent a message: “Ms., why is your maid always sleep?” Then I had to call the intermediary to go, and apologized that I would call the property management to repair itself another day, told him not to bother.
So the Chinese are right. Dreams are the opposite of joy and sorrow and so on are right, who told me to laugh secretly in the dream?
When we got home, Lulu was eager to explain that she had fallen asleep and hadn't heard the knock at the door. I believed she was asleep rather than out of the house, for she often does not hear me knocking, and when she is asleep it is as if she were gone. But what difference does that make? I really didn't like to be a teacher everywhere. I told her that if we continue like this and make no progress for three months, we don't need to work here. I also explained to her that if she can't help me, I might as well do these things by myself. She was so worried that she almost cried.
She always cooks on time and the table is wiped, but only the TV table and not the dining room table or the makeup table, because every time I check it, I just touch the TV table. I eat chow mein on Mondays and from Tuesday to Thursday, but I can't eat any more by Friday, so I take my leftovers home and show them to her. I told her to make chow mein on Monday, potato and beef on Tuesday, and not to make repeated dishes all week. But she always seemed to have amnesia, and the food I got was still either Fried noodles or Fried cabbage.
I still grit my teeth and finish my meal every day. The helper that I chose, do I have to beg her for her to finish her duty? I decided to tone down the demands, cook and eat, and teach her when I had time. I printed out a worksheet for her to do on a piece of paper and asked her to check it every day after she had cleaned it herself. She nodded and said yes. It says what to wipe, what to wash, where to put the clothes and so on. She seemed to take it seriously.
But then I realized that it was almost useless to show her. Sometimes you really don't know if they're pretending not to know or not. Or because my Indonesian is so bad. In a way, what should be done is not done well. If she's done, she won’t really check to see if she's done it
That would be amazing. Every day the clothes are not folded or washed shoes are the same as not washed, there is a pair of shoes I asked her to re-wash three times before clean.
4. Lulu's salary and other people's values
I kept hoping, silently telling myself that I had thought of all these things beforehand. What we need to do now is to be patient. A good helper plus a malleable foundation also needs at least half a year's running period. Lulu was so young and inexperienced that she wasn't set in her ways. I was sure there are plenty of possibilities when she could increase her experience. I also occasionally praised her for her intelligence, ability to speak English, memory of the road, and bravery.
Lulu comes from a small village in Central Java. I thought Central Java wasn't far. She doesn't have a bank card and she gets paid in cash every time. Once she said she wanted to send money to her mother for me to transfer my salary to her aunt's card. Her aunt USES Mandiri, and I use BCA, so I need to find the name of her aunt's bank of deposit. I explained it to her. It took her a week to ask her aunt the name of the city she lived in. I wasn't sure if her spelling was right, but I had to scour the map to find out where her hometown was. The Google map is among the mountains and it takes about 16 hours to get there by car without traffic jams from Jakarta. Unfortunately, I tried several times and the transfer failed. I don't know why. So I asked Lulu to apply for a bank card by herself and explained everything she had said to the bank staff.
One day, two South African guests came to my home, we sat together to eat and drink suddenly chat about the Helpers in Indonesia. I had not told them that I had a helper at home. The South African guests were very puzzled said, alas, they really do not understand how the people here think, a home for several helpers is necessary, and I saw them in the supermarkets carrying a very heavy things, but they do not take anything. Is it necessary? Do they really place themselves above their helpers? Is there anything you cannot do for yourself? At this point, Lulu came out of the small room at the back of the kitchen and startled the guests. Recently... And a helper...
5，The fermentation of Lulu's laundry story
Lulu has been doing a poor job, and I don't want to run my mouth. Her laundry was stained with dirt from nowhere, but she said she hadn't seen it when she ironed it.
(There are palm stains on the trousers washed by Lulu)
I tried to remove it myself with a brush, but the stain remained intact. And the number of stained clothes is increasing day by day. I was puzzled. Asking her to change the detergent to powder or wash it completely by hand didn't help. That's why Lulu destroyed several of my clothes. Lulu says she never cooked or washed clothes when she was in her hometown. Her old job was to take care of children. She said she was very fond of children.
By the way, Lulu also found a boyfriend in the neighborhood and often heard her talking on the phone loudly.
6. Fire Lulu
Lulu didn't make much progress, but I still had hope for her, didn't mind giving her more time to learn and adapt, and was willing to give her room to make mistakes. But do I really have time to teach her myself? After that, and for reasons I couldn't share in the post, I decided to send Lulu away.
Lulu had told me that she wanted to visit her parents back in December. So I sent her a message that I could go home early in December, because I was going to Travel to Thailand. Lulu was delighted and asked me when she needed to come back to work. I said I would give her advance notice of the date.
My experienced friends told me that I must not tell in advance when a helper is to be dismissed. Considering lulu had a boyfriend nearby, I tried to be polite. I spent a lot of time explaining to Lulu that I had to vacate my room and clean up my stuff by December 3. She asked me why I couldn't leave my luggage under the bed in my room, and I said I needed someone to renovate the house. And of course she sensed that maybe I wanted to send her away.
"Can I go back to work?" Lulu asked me in English. "I don't know at the moment, but there will be a transfer until after the Christmas break." I prevaricate.
The next day, Lulu cried in her room and texted me that she really wanted to work here and needed to send money to her brother and sister at home. I said, I'll probably call you back to work when you're experienced and able to cook. He told her not to worry, that I would pay for her fare home and her meals, and that her salary would be paid the morning she left.
The day Lulu left I gave her my suitcase, some unopened gifts from others, and my own clothes. I also gave her more cash and a raise in salary. I asked my friend to take her luggage downstairs and take her home by bus. Before that, I reminded her to buy the ticket for the express train. I would bear the cost instead of buying a bus that would take dozens of hours. She insisted on buying her own ticket, so I gave her all the cash and told her to keep her purse safe on the bus. I knew she kept all the salaries I had given her in her purse.
Lulu got in the car and texted me, saying thank you for always giving her the chance to study.
After Lulu left, I didn't feel right. My heart sank at the thought that she might return to her hometown and be asked about her job and the fact that her brother and sister could not afford to go to school. (End of article)
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